Alternatives
by Spirix
Summary: It's just another day at the office. Everyone's gender is switched. No pairings yet. Random fun.
1. Just Another Freaking Friday

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Just Another Freaking Friday**

Hawkeye sighed and looked absentmindedly at his folder. Should he even bother bringing it in into the office? It wasn't as if the colonel would read it. She would be too busy not working, just like every Friday night.

"Hey Hawkeye, what are you waiting for?" Havoc asked as she peeped around his elbow to look at the file. "The chief could stand to lose a few minutes of her precious hair fluffing time. Just think, if she started getting circles under her eyes from working hard I might have a chance at keeping a date."

Havoc sighed and flicked her unruly bangs out of her eyes. Hawkeye eyed her cigarette with distain and reached into his jacket towards his holster. Havoc quickly took it out while looking pale and put it out in the ash tray on her desk. "Look, it's already out!"

"No! Breda, how many times have we been over this? The pant-tail does not make you look fat," Fuery said from across the room.

Hawkeye looked over at the trio coming into the communal office. Fuery's large rimmed glasses magnified her eyes, making her look really young in combination with her cactus like pony tails.

Falman spoke next. "She's right. It isn't the uniform but the large amount of fat you have around your mid section. If you had followed the diet I had regimented then this wouldn't be a problem."

Breda sighed dramatically and sat at her desk with a huff. "That's not fair! You know how I binge eat when my monthly friend visits!"

"Yes," Falman said without hesitation, "but that doesn't last everyday for the amount of years I've known you. If you want a more attractive body you need to change your life style."

Hawkeye shuddered and walked towards his colonel's door. He was about to knock when it flung open.

"Where is Fullmetal?" She demanded looking rather fierce. Her black eyes danced in rage from beneath her short black hair.

Hawkeye tilted his head to the side while thinking then said, "She and her sister went to the mess not long ago. Why?"

Mustang pulled on her gloves and stormed out of the office with a flick of her pant-tail. Hawkeye could hear her heels clicking all the way down the hall. He paused for a moment, unsure what happened when a faint giggling erupted behind him. Havoc was sitting on her desk, panted legs crossed with a good grin.

"What did you do Havoc?"

"Oh nothing."

Hawkeye pulled out his gun in one swift motion. Havoc backed up quickly to escape the weapon and ended up on the floor in a heap of papers. She held her hands up in surrender from her trapped floor position and smiled around yet another cigarette. "I didn't do anything! I only mentioned to the boss that the chief had a fake drawer in her desk. That's all!"

"And what's in that drawer? Top secret documents?"

"I'm sure that's what the boss thought too but I swear I never thought she'd take it."

Hawkeye cocked his gun impatiently. "Take what?"

"Mustang's lucky thong, she never goes on a date without it."

Hawkeye knew then and there he hated working with only women. There was just no sanity to the lot of them.

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**A/N:** This one escaped the vault. I couldn't stop it. Oh well, I need something light and fluffy to content myself with. Don't we all? So in case you didn't notice, everyone's gender is switched. YAY!

-rix the demon


	2. Just Another Delinquent Dash

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Just Another Delinquent Dash**

Edalene Elric, who much rather preferred being call 'Ed' sat on her side of the mess table, eyeing her sister with a critical eye. "Al, you're going to need a new coat of varnish before we leave."

She turned her wooden face and gazed with her blue glowing eyes. "You said you would stop that. My name is ALARY, not Al. AL is a boy's name."

Ed just shrugged. "It's too much work to get all those syllables in. Besides, shortening your name makes us closer."

"Only because you insist on being such a tomboy, Sister. Why don't you throw away those leather pants for something pretty? I saw this frilly red dress in the shop the other day that would good with your hair." Al fingered her fake brown painted wooded hair with a mournful sigh. Ed promised to get Al her real body back instead of that silly mannequin from their mom's workroom but some days it seemed harder than others.

"Come on Al, we can get you any brand you want, even that expensive ink resistant stuff. I just want to make sure you don't suffer water damage."

Even though her mannequin face always held a blank but pleasant expression, Ed could see Al's unbridled excitement. "Could we get one of those wood stains? I want to look tanned for the summer."

"Sure thing, what are big sisters for?" Ed smiled and blew her hair out of her face. The bangs were cut to her chin while the rest was twisted in a long French braid to her mid back with an insufferable cow lick that never flattened. "Why don't we get you that dress? After all you are one of those seamstress mannequins. I'm sure any size would fit you and that one is getting old."

"No way Sister. This was the last dress Mother made before she left us." Al sighed and crossed her arms. Ed had worked hard on making all her joints full posable so Al would feel less like a huge doll and more like the girl she was. Unfortunate the fourteen year old sister she had looked more like she was in her mid twenties and from a different country with her southern belle dress and bonnet. Ed had to keep their luggage full of bits of lace, silk and thread to repair the dress as needed, and with their lifestyle, that was quite often.

"I don't want to talk about that bitch! Hugiherahta left us and didn't even come back when Dad was dying. It's her fault and you know it! When she left Dad, he was never the same and it ate away at him." Ed stabbed her food moodily and shoved the tray away.

"Come on Ed, you need to report in." Al pulled her bonnet's lace brim around her face and tried to look cheerful.

Ed smiled and fixed her red coat. "Your right, let's go... wait we can't go to Mustang's office."

She quickly headed out the door into the Parade Square.

"Edalene Elric, what have you done now?" Al was not far behind; her wooden high heel shoe carved feet clanking loudly as they hurried down the steps of the building.

Ed smirked evilly, "Oh nothing dear baby sister. I just remembered some leverage I acquired before lunch. We need to make ourselves scarce before—"

A loud crack of flame burst over head and Ed ducked. "Are you crazy Colonel Bitch?! You could have incinerated Al!"

Colonel Royal Mustang walked calmly down the steps, her stiletto black knee boots, which were definitely not issued equipment, flashed in the noon sunlight. Her pant-tail flapped dramatically around her pants as she eyes them with a predatory stare. "Where is it?"

Ed readjusted her low-rise pants and looked squarely at the colonel. She innocently replied, "Where's what?"

The colonel poised her fingers to snap again with her devilish smirk. "You know exactly what I'm talking about you little pixie."

Ed clenched her fists and yelled exuberantly, "Who are you calling such a small pixie that she couldn't see over a flower!"

"I certainly didn't say all of that," Mustang said offhandedly. Crowds were gathering around the Eastern Headquarters' Parade Square. "Now give it back, it is important for a mission I've been assigned tonight. You wouldn't want to stand in the way of military protocol, would you? Fullmetal?"

"She's got a point Al," Ed smirked again and reached into her bra. Al audibly sighed at her sister's habit of keeping things there like it was a pocket and quickly changed the noise to one of horror when a bright red and lacy thong was launched into the air a rubber band and landed on the colonel's nose artfully. "Run!"

Ed grabbed her hand while cackling as they dashed out the gates and around the corner. Al couldn't help but notice the roaring laughter left in their wake from what had to be witnesses as well and the small trail of smoke that flowed ribbon-like from Ed's cowlick. Yep, Ed was definitely a tomboy, no doubt about it.

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**A/N:** I needed a break from Free Fall and this is what I got... Sometimes I horrify myself, along with others. I got a bunch of review replies to do so never fear, I haven't forgotten you.

This fic is for Mez10000 who was my first 200th reviewer. They asked for a femme!Roy and this happened... heh...

-rix the demon


	3. Just Another Alleyway Ambush

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Just Another Alleyway Ambush  
**

Royal Mustang checked her appearance in the mirror on last time before heading to her door. Everything was as it should be: black cocktail dress hugged perfectly, stiletto-heels gleamed, hair was a controlled array of flowing curls and waves on the top of her head and pulled behind in a very small gelled French twist and above all, her luck thong was on and ready to roll. She admired the perfection in black looking back at her and winked. No man deserved such a prize, but she graced them with her favour when it was due.

Colonel Mustang's private life was a legend on base. It was said that whoever was in a position to see those magical panties would sky rocket through the ranks like the colonel had and have their pick of what position they would take. Royal snickered when she was told this... fairytale. Very few soldiers, in fact, no soldier would ever receive such a lucky streak simply because she never dated among the ranks. Being a female in power is a tricky balance of professionalism and strength. IF one of those should falter, everything would come apart.

Mustang knew that if she ever became a sex symbol she would be done, doomed to remain a colonel forever. Not that people seeing her like that would be a bad thing, but they would never see her as anything else. She was a colonel first and a woman second, regretfully that was the only way it could be.

She smoothed the small dress and smiled her heart melting smile. She may be a colonel first, but she was a damn sexy one. Friday night was hers for the taking.

She opened the door with a casual yet sultry lean on the door frame. Her prey for that even took a step back and swallowed hard, his eyes nearly glossing over.

_Damn, it's going to be like this. I'm flattered but already bored. Can't one of these men surprise me for once?_

"Are you just going to stand there all evening John?" Royal asked and took her coat of its hook.

"Yes ma'am, I mean no of course not!" He stumbled over his worlds like a hormonal teen. John Sutton was a prime example of masculine sexuality in a brown suit. His every move was a ripple of hard earned muscles, even now as he extended his arm for her to take. He wasn't military, as one would think with him calling her ma'am, but he was in dealings with them constantly. See, Mr. Sutton was the contractor hired to design and build the new training facility, truly a man who was good with his hands. Royal really hoped he wouldn't disappoint her further as the evening grew.

Her hopes were ill placed as the waiter brought them their after meal coffee and only one subject had been carried through. Royal sighed in her mind and thought idly of leaving as Mr. Sutton still deemed it necessary to explain to her the different type of cement they were using in the foundation. Yes, that's right; the whole evening was spent talking about his job. Royal regretted even asking how the planning was going.

She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't even notice the topic change until he tapped his plate in annoyance; another habit she despised. "Did you see that? A mannequin just walked by the window."

Royal felt her heart leap in joy, it was an escape!

"Are you certain," she said in a hurried urgent and official tone, "if that's the cause I need to leave. You know how the military is. I will need to take care of this before it gets out. Good night John, I'll call you."

_Like hell I'm even going to look at him again, self centred bastard._

And with a smirk she was off. The hostess had her jacket ready, knowing the routine before she even reach the door. Royal Mustang was never left on a dinner date, but she did leave as she saw fit. She shrugged on the coat and tied it tightly at the waist. The black haired hostess smiled and said, "Will you be returning Miss Mustang?"

"What do you think Abigail?"

"I will personally bring your gentlemen friend his bill... if you don't mind."

They shared a smiled before Royal left and hurried down the street. Abigail must have liked him if she was going to move in on the abandoned man, not that Royal minded. Dates that didn't go well were frequent and she had no problem with girls like Abigail picking up the leftovers. It was all a part of the woman's world where no man was really good enough and they all knew it.

Royal caught sight of the fetching dress Alary always wore as it disappeared around a corner. She could technically go home, now that she was free but for something told her to investigate why the Elric sisters were out so late and in the dining, dancing and theatre part of town. Normally only couples could be found here. Maybe they were looking for someone?

"Alary," Royal called out into the shadowy alleyway and instantly regretted it. In her attempts to catch up the alchemists she had wondered off the main drag. The street lights didn't even illuminate the thick abyss before her and Royal took a step back. She took another and collided with a large firm mass that did anything but give her comfort.

"Well, well, lookie here," the beast snarled above her head. Royal put her hands in her pockets and desperately tried to put on her gloves without being noticed. The large man continued his taunts. "Hey Lou, I think we found a bigger prize tonight. Doesn't this broad look like the other woman in that picture of yours?"

She had half her fingers in the palm part of her glove when he grabbed her elbows.

_Damn, why do I have my evening wear gloves with me? Yes, I know they look better but I can't put them on with only one hand. Fuck my vanity; I'm bringing the massive man ones next time. These elegant things are useless!_

"I think you're right there Elmer. What do you say little lady? Are you the Flame?" said the second man as he gripped her chin. Royal let him as she wormed the only two fingers that mattered into their position.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said is a falsely panicked voice. She just needed to buy a little more time and if they thought she was scared and subdued, they would give her that.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." He roughly pushed her chin back with one hand and in an almost savouring manner, wrapped his fingers around her pale neck. "Just think, it would take much for me to snap that pretty neck of yours, would it, Colonel?"

_This isn't good. They know who I am... and this glove feels like it shrunk. _

The hand around her chin let go in favour of tracing the line of her v-neck dress in a way that made her blood boil with a different kind of lust. Royal desperately manoeuvred her glove as his finger got lower and lower. She glared into his half lidded eyes as he drank in her struggles like a drug.

_Just too the left, come on!_

"Hey, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" was called out from above. The man named Lou paused in his caress of her chest to peer up and Royal had her chance. She sparked the glove again her pocket watch and transmuted a large flare to engulf Lou, literally barbequing him into a fine pile of ash. The other man who was holding her jumped back at the coat burned off her. She had transmuted from inside her pocket after all.

Her hair escaped its elaborate confines and blew in all manners of direction as she pulled and pushed the air in the alleyway to bring the fire to serve as Elmer's demise next. Royal stood tall with ash cover skin, clutching her watch and glove in one hand and pointing at him with the other.

"I'm letting you go to remember this, never cross my path again. If I even hear your name, I will hunt you down and char you into a well done steak. Do you understand?" Her voice was calm and even, like always. Royal was the master of her emotions just as much as she was the master of the flames. They gathered over her head like a literal wall of hell and retribution.

"You slut! Lou, LOU!" Elmer stumbled back as the fire advanced on him, no longer wishing to see him escape. There wasn't even time for him to yell as it wrapped around him like a large snake, crushing the life from him.

Royal watched in morbid fascination as the wind took the remains of his tormentors, leaving her alone in the alleyway. She looked up at the sky and only a few stars were bright enough to be seen through the city's glow, they twinkled at her and she smiled back. It was just another day for the Flame Alchemist, Royal Mustang.

"Are you okay Colonel," came a hesitant whisper behind her.

Royal shoved her hand into her glove easily now that it was free of a pocket and turned to face the newest assailant. A small blonde walked towards her with raise hands in surrender. "Fullmetal?"

She smiled and said, "The one and only. I came to give you a hand, but it looks like you didn't need it." Ed's gaze followed where hers once did, to the distant sky. "So, who were they?"

Royal picked up what was left of her jacket and took the second glove out of the pocket. Both of them now on, Royal flicked open her pocket watch to see it was getting very late. "Why are you out at this hour Fullmetal? Who knows what vagabonds and cretins may be running amuck?"

Ed smirked at the lame joke and sighed. "Al was chasing a cat... and I was chasing her... and then I found you. That seems to by my lot in life."

"To find me?" Royal winked and looked down at herself. The dress was ruined and her hair was surely sticking up in all directions. She attempted to flatten it, but from the look on Ed's face she knew it was a lost cause.

Ed put her hands in her pockets and looked back to the sky. "I'm not sure I want to find you, you look kind of scary at the moment. But then again, what would be life without the fucking scary bits."

"You know, this treating me civil thing you're doing is making me uncomfortable," Royal laughed and stuck her pocket watch in her cleavage since she no longer had her pockets, nor her coat. She shivered only once, finally noticing just how cold it was out. Something red flew at her and she caught it without thinking.

"I'm not treating you nice or anything you old hag. I just happen to have two coats and my dad raised me to share... plus Al would drop me on my head if she knew I let you freeze to death." Ed smirked and started to walk towards Royal.

She pulled the small coat on and clasped her hands behind her back, looking very mischievous and young with her wild hair. "I guess I owe you some thanks also."

"Nah, you just needed an opening, one would have come along sooner or later." Ed kept walking right past her and into the street. She waited for something but Royal couldn't gather what until Ed spoke again. "I thought you said you wanted to thank me? Normally that entails a free meal or something."

Royal left the alleyway and smirked in embarrassment. Well, as you noticed my coat is... well dead. My money was in there and paper tends to burn easily."

Ed raised both her hands up in an exasperated surrender. "Oh for fucks sake fine, I want pancakes and you're fucking coming so that next time you know what to thank me with. Hell I'll even buy you a stack since you're so pathetically old you forgot paper was flammable. Really Mustang, that is sad."

"What?" Royal said in mock shock as she fell into step with Ed. "I was afraid for my tender life. Just think of what the office would be like without me! I had so many thoughts going through my head I didn't have time for technicalities like money. All I had time to think of was who would keep my desk in order while I was off being dead. You know how Hawkeye gets. I don't want him to have to go through all the trouble to break in a new colonel!"

"Right... because he has you so well trained," Ed snorted ironically.

Royal stepped in front of her, causing Ed to stop walking and winked her prize winning wink, "Well you know what they say, you can't teach an _old dog_ new tricks."

"So you're admitting you're a total bitch! Ha! I need to document this!" Ed searched her short black coat for a pen and paper, though really Royal knew the girl was just being an ass.

"I would rather be a bitch than an insignificant pixie," she said casually to the side.

"Who are you calling so petite she needs a step ladder to get people's attention!"

Royal about turned and started to walk forward again, feeling very pleased to be able to fall back into old ways. It was strangely comforting after the night's ordeal. She kept walking until she heard a small yelp that sounded surprisingly like _'wait up'_ but she knew better than to think Fullmetal would ever utter such a thing.

"So what do we tell everyone?" Ed asked when she finally motivated her short little legs to match the long strides of Royal Mustang. Not that she would ever say that to the blonde, why, that would be equivalent to suicide.

Royal kept one hand behind her back and gestured forward with the other one. "Nothing for tonight I think. Tomorrow I will take care of it, so for now, you owe me some pancakes."

"Oh... hey wait! I don't owe you anything," Ed shouted at her.

"So you're going back on your word? My. My Fullmetal that isn't very becoming of an officer."

And there conversation continued along those same lines as the night wore on. When dawn came, it was like nothing had even happened. Royal stood outside the dinner and turned to go one way while Ed turned to go the other, claiming Al would be worried since he stayed out all night. About to part ways, Royal felt like she needed to say something, anything, before letting the blonde walk away and their moment of civility outside of time to cease back to their normal relationship.

"Hey, Ed?"

Startled at hearing her name, she turned and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"I had fun..."

Ed smiled and the blaring sunlight glinted off her bright hair. "Me too, we should..."

Royal knew she was going to suggest they do it again, but those words weren't welcome because they both knew they wouldn't. Instead, Royal finished Ed's sentence with, "get going. I don't think you should keep Alary waiting any longer, she may start to splinter with worry."

Ed sighed and kicked a rock. "You're right, as always I guess. Fuck I mean... get the hell home before I decide to beat your face in for making me stay out all night. Some boss you are, I better be getting overtime for this."

She whipped around, her French braid only following a moment behind and Ed stormed down the street. Royal couldn't wipe the smile from her face as she walked towards home thinking about how Ed always knew the perfect way to end an evening.

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**A/N:** Well this one was longer than expected... Oh well. Enjoy

-rix the demon


	4. Just Another Blushing Blonde

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Just Another Blushing Blonde**

Monday morning Royal was shocked when a blonde she was pretty certain would have been avoiding her for the next few days, flew into her office and dove under the desk.

"Fullmetal, I know you are eager to lick my boots but I will at least turn from the desk first."

Royal was about to push back too look under when her door burst open for the second time. She swallowed and quickly put on her game face. There stood Major Armstrong, as horrifically stunning as ever. To a woman who thought curves with the epitome of feminine beauty, Armstrong sought to make herself the perfect model of womanly wiles. She had more curves than a circle and a uniform that hugged every single one. Royal kept her face bland but took a mental note that Armstrong was a perfect 'S' when she stood sideways, all breasts and ass.

Her long curly (more curves of course) hair was in a long pony with a big blue bow holding it in place. It was a poor attempt on her part to look cute and fragile when her looks were quite the opposite. She was taller than most door frames and had shoulders broader than Royal's desk. She was ripped, carved and prancing... around Royal's office.

"Armstrong, I'm expecting the some reports in the next ten minutes," Royal lied as an automail hand wrapped around her ankle threateningly. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Armstrong batted her long fake eyelashes and put on a pout that made Royal's skin crawl. "I was certain that darling young Edalene Elric had hidden in here. She was just so enthusiastic about the dress I made her that she ran out in glee. I suppose it is the Elric way to express joy in kinetic displays."

She did what Royal could only guess was a graceful flick of her hair but was in actuality closer to swinging a mop of blonde like a club.

Royal coughed into her hand and said, "Well if I see the little runt I'll send her your way."

She tried very hard to hold back her grin when she both heard and felt a certain runt smack the top of her head on the underside of the desk. Royal quickly dropped a folder to explain the noise and drew her attention back to Armstrong, trying in vain to ignore the soft curses coming from by her feet. She regretted focusing on Armstrong the moment she saw that manicured hand reach up. With a magical flick Armstrong's hair was free and catching... what must be every light in the room for the sparkling was blinding.

Armstrong, surely sensing it was time to strike her prey, said, "Thank you for your valuable time Colonel. I know what an admirable hardworking woman you are and will cease to detain you with the small matter of Miss Elric."

There was another violent smack under the desk and Royal quickly knocked over another stack of paper. "Yes, as you can see I have so much work to do it's overflowing from my desk. Have a good day Major."

It was an implied dismissal but Armstrong took it with grace, or as much grace as she could which her contrasting hourglass figure. Royal always wondered how such a broad woman could have such a narrow waist. She was broken from her musings by the chin on her knees.

Fullmetal looked up at her and grumbled, "Thanks."

"Oh I think I deserve more than that. I think I just saved your life, for the crass Fullmetal image would die the moment it put on anything the major designed. I her this season that lace was 'in'." Royal crossed her arms under her breasts and leaned back in her chair. "I think you owe me one."

Fullmetal grumbled further, "Yeah I guess... would you let me out?"

Struck by a particularly evil idea, Royal shook her head and smirked. "Why would I ever do that? You owe me after all and it has been a while since I had such a stunned blonde between my legs." Royal opened her legs quickly, causing Ed's chin to fall off and her to come face to face with Royal's inseam. "Make good use of you time down there and I may let this big favour you owe me disappear."

Fullmetal blushed a lovely shade of crimson and tried her best to mesh with the desk, but that was fruitless since she already had her back flushed to the inner wall even before Armstrong left. Royal took her boots heals and nudged either side of Edward until they managed to sneak behind the girl. What was supposed to be a joke was not turning out as Royal had expected. There was no flailing or ranting, just a wide eyed girl with an even wider open mouth.

She looked so... flushed. Royal reached forward to touch her face, the girl must have a fever but she flinched violently and smacked her head for the third time in so much as five minutes. Ed grabbed her head and leaned forward in pain. Without thinking, Royal threaded her hands through the wheat golden hair, searching for injuries. Ed leaned into the questing fingers with a sigh. Encouraged, Royal's search turned into more of a gentle massage of Ed's scalp. There was a small groan in appreciation and Royal wondered what the hell she was doing.

"Ahem. Colonel Royal Mustang, I believe these files on the floor were supposed to be done by now so that I could exchange them for the ones that just came in. If you would work harder you would...have...more...time..."

Hawkeye expression didn't change from its usual business look, but Royal had known him long enough to note the masked surprise in his tone.

Edward gasped in alarm, slamming her head upwards spastically then alchemizing the desk in half. Roy watched her flee in with a bland look, her hands still held out as if holding an invisible head. She noticed this once Ed was out of sight and dropped them into her lap.

Royal quickly set the tone and drew the situation back into a realm that was normal for the office. "Well those reports will half to wait until a new desk can be ordered. I can't exactly sign them over my knee."

Reese Hawkeye, Royal's oldest male friend, may be many things desirable of a right hand man, but easy was not one of them. He only tapped his jacket twice then pointed to the large communal table in the staff area outside Royal's private office. She sighed and got up, not bothering to be elegant in anyway. She grudgingly snatched the folder closest to her foot and slouched out of the office and into the chair next to Havoc. Even thought she put on a big show of hating her work, Royal was thankful for the distraction. She wouldn't have to think about what just happened with a certain Elric and that was fine by her. Those kinds of thoughts only got people in trouble...

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**A/N: **For those of you who read more than just this fic of mine, you've probably noticed the increase of angsty tragic one shots I've written. Well I don't know about you, but it was starting to damn well depress me. I mean I am proud of how beautiful they turned out and how well captured the sorrow is, but it still puts a damper on a sunny day.

My cure? Shameless yuri implications without actual evidence of whether or not I'm going in that direction Feel free to say stuff like: "Fuck yes, show me the girl on girl action!" and "Like, oh my god, I love Ed's rosy blush :3" in your reviews. Or things like: "Don't you dare turn this into some weird gayfest! I like your writing but it's not het enough." or "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww no!"

I laugh at reviews like that and do whatever I want. Oh! And I updated "Flint and Ashes" while FFnet apparently broke and did not send out alerts. Go nuts and I look forward to you guys trying to convince me to go one way or another with this fic.

-rix the demon


	5. Just Another Confusing Conversation

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Just Another Confusing Conversation  
**

Ed ran for all she was worth through the bustling hallways. She had no idea what had just happened but the speed and adrenaline felt good to her horrified self. She dodged into a stairwell and quickly pumped up the many stairs until she reached the roof of Central Headquarters. There the air was wild and free, letting her feel as if she could be the same. Her jacket flapped in the wind like a flag and Ed spread her arms out wide.

"How theatrical of ya Boss," Havoc commented from near the edge. She had one of her ever present cigarettes in her mouth and smirked around it in the bright noon sunlight. "If I didn't know any better, I would think that coat of yours would act as a kite and drag you away. I don't think automail would make for good kite framework though."

She chuckled and put her hands casually in her military pant pockets. Unlike the colonel who was always so polished and refined, Havoc had a careless way about her that Ed found she liked more. Havoc was simply comfortable in her own skin and therefore everywhere was like home. Ed thought about how she could only feel comfortable in specific places. Ed envied Havoc and it must have been written all over her face for Havoc commented.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?" She rubbed it thoughtfully before flicking her long blonde spiky pony over her shoulder.

Ed blushed and frantically explained, "No I was just thinking that you are so different from the colonel."

Havoc smiled and sat down on the roof floor, pulling one knee up to her chest to rest her head on it. She gestured in front of her, signalling Ed to sit. "Alright, you got me curious. Why would you go and do a thing like that? We are different people."

Ed sat down with no grace what so ever and nearly fell on her face. Her leather pants were really not cooperating. They didn't like simple requests like bending and moving. Silly girl, Ed should know better than to expect pants to be mobile.

Finally getting comfortable, Ed put both her hands behind her and looked up at the sky. "Just earlier today I was in the colonel's office and... is she always so poised and formal?"

That had not been what Ed had wanted to ask but bringing up the awkward comments the colonel had said made Ed feel all squirmy and uncomfortable.

Havoc leaned against the wall between them and the ground and puffed an o. "Well, I guess she has. She comes from a very well to do family back in her country. They are more formal than us. Does that answer your question Squirt?"

Ed squawked in indignation when Havoc's rough hand ruffled her hair just as rough, causing it to become loose from its braid. Havoc only smiled and got to her feet. Ed cursed and undid her hair. It was getting fairly long and that just meant more to deal with. Ed offhanded commented, "I should just cut it," as she finger combed it with her flesh hand.

Havoc didn't say anything so Ed looked up to see what had her attention. It shocked Ed to find it was indeed her. Why was Havoc looking at her like that... it was like she had never seen Ed before.

"Havoc?" Ed asked curiously.

Havoc finally blinked and put her cigarette out on the ledge. Looking out over the parade square, she said softly, "Don't. It's pretty long."

It took a moment for Ed to realize she was talking about her hair. Blushing Ed thanked her. "Thank you Havoc."

"Jeana. Like Gina only spelt different."

Havoc threw on her coat quickly and headed for the stairwell.

"What?" Ed called after her, not understanding.

The older blonde turned around and shrugged. "It's my name. I'd like you to use it when we're alone."

Ed couldn't put her finger on it as she watched 'Jeana' descend down the stairs, but something told her they would be alone much more often now. Ed pulled her hair into a shoulder pony with a tired sigh. What was she getting herself into.

* * *

**A/N:** Ahahahaha I'm making weird triangles. I love Ed and Jean as you learned from Epsilon but that doesn't mean the colonel has lost out on her new blonde opportunities. Bed time! Good night!

-rix the demon


End file.
